Real
by Standbackufools
Summary: Gold's Teacup and Regina's Ring: The untold love story. They met by chance in her purse. Their tragic love cut short. Will they ever find each other again? Crack, total and utter... but the rare kind of serious!crack.


A/N: I... apparently am incapable of writing short things. This really wasn't meant to be anything... but I kind of latched on to one idea and it ran away from me. Hope you like it.

"_'When someone loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'_

_'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit._

_'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'"_

~The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams

I had never been forced to endure such accommodations. It was dark and cold, that much I was used to, but it was also cramped. And bumpy. the Purse, at least, had been polite and tried her best to make sure I was safely nestled beside Wallet and as far away from Keys as possible. I thanked her for it, and I think the Purse smiled in the way that she could, but said nothing. She wasn't Real.

A sudden jolt as the Purse was roughly sat down, and those of us inside gave a slight _oof!_ of protest at the less than delicate treatment. The movement caused a shift, and there was a dull clink as I was rudely collided with by something metal, wedged between the Wallet and myself.

"Oh, I say!" I protested in the light, slightly tinny voice that all porcelain possess, should we wish to use it, "we haven't even been introduced!"

The metal object seemed contrite, for as gravity settled, it shifted, though not nearly enough for my liking. "My apologies. I'm Ring."

"Teacup," I said glumly, and resigned myself to another long period of silence and sadness until the Purse was picked up again, whenever that would be. I hoped it would be soon. I hoped I would get to go home soon. Not that I disliked the Purse, but missed my stand and my solitude. I missed the moments when I would be cradled tenderly by my owner. He only ever allowed his moments of weakness to show when he was holding me. He loved me- he had loved me for decades.

Because I reminded him of _her. _

I think I sniffled a little, remembering.

"You miss him," observed Ring. "The one you belong to. The one who uses the Cane."

Dumbstruck, I didn't answer for a few seconds. 'You've seen him?" It was a stupid question, but I'm so very unused to actually having a conversation with anyThing. Nothing at home is Real, and talking to them lost its appeal after the first decade.

"Oh yes," Ring answered, "_She_ takes me everywhere." It was the way Ring said 'she' that caught my attention. There was a reverence to it. A longing. And then I knew.

"You're Real."

"Yes," Ring seemed surprised, and then genuinely pleased. "You're Real, too?"

"I'm Real," I whispered, reverently.

The Purse was suddenly lifted unceremoniously, and we were jostled about quite fervently as Ring's owner began to walk. Ring was bounced away from me, and I gave a small sigh. I'd have enjoyed speaking more with him. Every step jumbled, and the Keys were coming ever closer, looking sharp and painful, threatening to scratch me. Or worse, break me. I hadn't been so frightened since I'd nearly been smashed, those long years ago. A particularly violent shake, and the Keys came hurtling towards me. I shrieked.

Keys never made contact. He was blocked by something small that had wedged between us, keeping me safe. "Ring," I whispered, wonderingly. He was cool and comforting against me, and I gave a small sigh. I didn't mind him touching me now.

"We need to stop meeting like this," he joked. Another violent bounce, and a hand reached inside of the Purse, fishing around. It touched me, and there was a rumbling sound like a laugh, before the hand closed around the Keys. I gave a small relieved sigh.

The Purse was placed down again, and I was pleased to find that Ring was still nestled next to me. Another rumble, louder this time. We were inside the Car. I have never enjoyed Car rides. Far too bumpy, far too noisy. Slightly preferable to carriage, though.

This one filled me with a bit of delighted apprehension. Ring was still next to me. A shift as the Car revved to life, and he bounced higher up, rolling against my handle. "My apologies," he whispered again.

I laughed a little. "It's okay," I whispered. "...I don't mind."

"You're sure?" he asked.

Since being made Real, I had existed purely as a comfort to _him_, and that had been enough. I had never really wanted anything for myself. But I wanted this. I... needed this. "I'm sure."

It was the most thrilling car ride of my existence. Each bump brought a new a caress of him against me, and I moaned a little more each time. He toyed around my handle, sliding in and out of it, the metal of him dinging pleasantly against my walls. "Oh, Ring..." I moaned. And he was against my rim- caressing me. Teasing me. I almost whimpered in my desires. I wanted him inside of me. He lingered over my rim, and then, obscenely, wonderfully, slipped inside of my chip.

I groaned. He hung off of my jagged edge, held in suspension by the flaw that had, so long ago, first begun to make me Real. It was wonderfully decadent.

The car ride ended, and the Purse was hoisted up again. The momentum finally gave Ring enough leverage, and he slid down my inner walls, landing inside. He did not fill me, not by a long shot, but it was the most erotic thing I've ever experienced. He whispered my name reverently, and slipped around my bottom, and I reveled in the feel of his metal against me. Another rough jostle as the Purse was set down. Ring remained side of me, and we stayed that way for several long, delicious moments, saying nothing and everything. Whispered secrets to one another.

I felt more Real than I had in a very long, long time.

But all too quickly, a hand descended again, and this time when it touched me, it closed, grasping hold of my handle. Pulling me away from Ring. "Noo!" I whimpered, and Ring was unceremoniously dumped out of me, back into the Purse.

"Teacup!" he cried out for me, and I wished I could reach for him, knowing it was useless. I was already leaving the Purse, being dangled back and forth over her by my handle. Any other time, it would have scared the hell out of me, being that close to danger. Now, it didn't matter, and I was almost grateful. It gave me a chance to say goodbye.

"Remember me!" he shouted up. There was no promising of finding me again. We could never control that, and we knew it. We are only inanimate, after all.

"...Goodbye, Ring," I whispered down to him.

Then there was a hand off, and familiar fingers closed around me, cradling me safely between them. _His_ fingers.

Once, I would have welcomed them. Once, it would have been all I needed to feel loved.

To be Real.

FIN


End file.
